sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Those nachos came to me in a dream
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
