it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
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Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
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We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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