she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
