Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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