Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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