I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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