I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Randomize
