fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
