Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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