Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Randomize
