She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Randomize
