when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize