Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
