Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
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