i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
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