Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize