32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Randomize