I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Randomize
