Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Randomize