belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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