I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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