I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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