I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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