I hate all girls vehemently.
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
