my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
