so that wasnt chicken after all
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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