She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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