READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
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