this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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