I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
