is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
how do flat chested girls get laid?
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Randomize
