we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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