So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
