OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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