i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Randomize