He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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