just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
