You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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