I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
