toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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