Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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