if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
