You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
