i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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