After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize