Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
