that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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