I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
