just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Randomize
