You kept calling me your small dog last night.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
