My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I'm determined to sit on that face.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
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