Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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