Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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