She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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