I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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