A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
